Monster

Monster thought COVID-19 was a lie. So he kept recycling cans and bottles, unafraid of the potentially contagious germs on those items or getting too close to people at the recycling centers. Then three people in his family died from cancer and his nephew in Tecate died from respiratory failure due to complications from COVID-19 just two days after being admitted to a hospital.

Everything Monster, aka Gilberto Esparza, 61, owns he got from the trash. People throw away some perfectly good and occasionally valuable things that he can either keep and use for himself or sell for food money, like his watch, numerous pairs of shoes, and random tools. What little money he makes from being a pop-up entrepreneur is often interrupted when the police stop by and telling him he can’t sell things out of his car. But he would rather try and sell things or work day jobs than be on welfare. He believes people should have a sense of responsibility. “And I don’t like people who steal,” he added emphatically.

When the city closed the public restrooms as part of the pandemic response it really made his life tough. He currently lives in his vehicle, moving around his chosen neighborhood for the last 25 years. Suddenly he had no place to use the bathroom, use the sinks for washing and brushing his teeth. “We’re not dogs, animals out here. We need showers, bathrooms,” he said, shaking his head. “The government doesn’t understand the impact on people, the workers who are living out here, when they shut the doors.”

By doors Monster means more than the bathrooms. He means access to other public buildings, to opportunities, to parking lots and public parks. “When it’s raining, when it’s cold and they tell us to move, it’s cruel. They shouldn’t shut the door on the poor. They shouldn’t close their eyes. They’re the same as us, they’re not immortal. If they lost their job, they could be out here too.”

Monster was born in San Diego and grew up in Tijuana. He wouldn’t want to live down there any time soon, he said, “it’s too dangerous down there right now.” He lives quietly, peacefully; all the other people living in the park see him as a father figure. Sitting among the sculptures in a playground, several people came by to ask how he was doing, and just sit for a while. One friend drew a portrait of him while Monster and I talked. He has a calming effect on some of the younger, more energetic, locals, especially when they are high.

Occasionally he needs help reading the multi-syllable English words in a medical report or a ticket, so he’ll ask for help from a bilingual friend in the neighborhood. He has trouble with joint pain as he gets older, he said. Some days it’s hard getting up and out of the bed he fashioned in the back of his vehicle. He has a daughter living nearby, but she has kids and he doesn’t want to be a burden to her, so he stays where he is, working it out. In fact, his dream is to one day own a furniture shop or sell cars. He’d like to make enough money that he can help support this daughter and shower his grandchildren with gifts all the time.